BeyondSeeLevel

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18

The biblical definition of suitable in this verse actually means “opposites”. Establishing relational/martial harmony by is best done when we identify, understand and appreciate the differences between the man and woman and how those differences work together to benefit both (not in the things that make us compatible, similar or alike). It’s like a two-piece puzzle. Both pieces are completely different, but perfectly fit one another because they were designed to do so. The same with the man and woman–two different pieces of a Divine puzzle designed to fit in order to make the big picture plain and clear. This picture brings this verse to mind:

Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman…1 Cor 11:11

These differences have to first be embraced physically–which isn’t usually an issue for heterosexual individuals. We easily like and appreciate the physical differences if the opposite sex. The softness of a woman compliments the hardness of a man very well. But coming to understand the mental, emotional and social differences takes intentional efforts. Unfortunately, many don’t/won’t make this effort. In order to not become frustrated at the opposite sex (for being the way God made them) you have to understand why they are the way they are. And when you don’t understand them, you just accept them. I’m talking about creative makeup, not character development. There are some Divine creative characteristics that are innate for both. A woman needs to feel security and she needs attention. If a man doesn’t understand that and resist or neglect giving her security and attention, his relationship with the woman in his life will be problematic. Likewise, a man needs respect. If the woman in his life doesn’t understand that and resist or neglect giving him respect and honor, her relationship with her man will be problematic. We don’t need the same things because we weren’t designed to need the same things. We’re “opposites” in so many ways.

When you don’t have an understanding of the differences, you struggle accepting them. You won’t appreciate what you won’t accept. And if you struggle accepting the differences, you’re going to stay frustrated dealing with the”opposite” sex. Unfortunately, for too many, instead of accepting and learning the differences, they chalk up relational friction as it being a problem with their significant other. They’re the problem–not their refusal or neglect of their s/o’s individual needs not being met in the relationship. We have to understand that the man and the woman just don’t tick the same way. So it’s good when a man studies womanhood and when a woman studies manhood. It prepares them to meet one another’s needs without becoming frustrated by the extreme differences/opposites.

A helper “opposite” of him doesn’t sound ideal because we’re set on looking for how we’re alike, the same or “compatible”. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But that just scratches the surface of relational harmony between a man and a woman. Compatibility addresses our pleasures. But suitability addresses God’s purpose.

*Tressa Jo

Many don’t believe they’re affected by social toxins. All things are spiritual. Even if we don’t duplicate the sins depicted in songs, shows, books or movies, seeds are still being planted in our spirits. We should love what God loves and hate what God hates. But when those seeds are planted in our spirits, we develop a tolerance or a desensitization to what we should vehemently be against, simply because God is against it. Satan repackages sin. Offers it to us. And we take the bait. We call it entertainment, recreation, relaxation or whatever. Satan holas……got em! Satan knows that whatever we see as ok in any light (even if it’s only for our entertainment) we won’t have a sense of urgency to stand against. We lose our proactive power. We reduce ourselves to being reactive. We don’t speak up against certain sins until they meet us at our front steps. That adulterous character won’t be an issue until our s/o other starts to tip out. Then we become sensitive to unfaithfulness. That funny crack head will always be funny until our loved one is strung out out drugs. We’ll just watch and shake our heads at that wayward teen until ours get pregnant or thugs out. Or that promiscuous single person living their life to the fullest, until your son or daughter brings home a baby or an STD. Or our favorite character is that flamboyant homosexual that makes us laugh so hard. Then we wonder why our children gravitate toward all these lifestyles even when we teach them they’re sinful. Maybe we can help by not being entertained by the lifestyles. I know many of the story lines are realistic. But we have to be mindful of what’s real entertainment and what’s exploitation. When will we be able to be entertained by pictures of righteousness? Better yet, when will we desire to be entertained by pictures of righteousness? Are we as spiritual as we say we are?

I’ve shared this with a few sisters. And I’ve decided to share it on a larger scope. Why? As I was introduced into the “getting-to-know-you” phase of a potential relationship, I opened it up with prayer. I did so, because I didn’t want to waste anymore of my time investing in what/who wasn’t committed to investing in me. Day by day, I added to this prayer as God exposed me to what would be necessary as we moved forward. Being intentional in my pursuit for a relationship that would lead to marriage (the only kind I would consider) I’ve asked God, not only to be with “us”, but to guide “us”. This meant that I would have to be willing to allow God to establish every part of the process of developing “us”–not make an independent decision to be “us”, then ask God to bless “us”. But I really wanted God to establish “us”. And by God establishing “us”, I knew that our pleasures would fall secondary to our purpose. We would be led by the Spirit of God and not by our own flesh. So a desire was imbeded in my spirit that refused to settle for being yoked to someone that I could go to church with but couldn’t BE the church with. And as I share a little bit of “us” with the world, I continue to pray that our intentions to pursue one another will always honor God, point people to God and renew someone’s hope. I shared this prayer with him (James) once I realized that he was not just another man expressing interest. And I believe that it was instrumental in setting the tone and direction for how we approached “us”. My prayer is that it will help someone come into a better understanding of God’s expectations for the relationship He brings together. Because, truth is, God doesn’t bring all relationships together. This prayer helps me stay focused on the stewardship of my relationship. It keeps me connected to the purpose of my relationship. And it encourages me with the potential of my relationship. I’ve graduated from having such a me-minded attitude toward relationships. And I’ve also been delivered from the world’s systems as it relates to man-woman relationships. My plan was to share this prayer at a much later date. But after the conversations I’ve had with the ones I’ve already shared it with, I’ve decided to share it now. So I pray that it helps point someone in a direction of holy dating/courting. I pray that whoever finds themselves consider being “Us”, that they open up in prayer and walk in holiness.

Heavenly Father,

I opened the door to getting to know him in this prayer. I asked You to show and sanctify this process; this endeavour. Show us both what we need to see. Help us perceive through holy lenses; and not be blinded or guided by our carnal lenses. Sanctify our intentions toward one another. Help me be a righteous presence in his life for this reason, season or lifetime. Help him be a righteous presence in my life. Help us walk in Your Spirit and resist temptations to be in our flesh, x’ing you out of our relationship. If that’s not what he wants, I’m asking You Lord, to exercise Your Divine severing and separation power. And if that’s Your will, help me accept it as Your Divine guidance, protection and positioning. Help me accept what You reveal to me about the process; about him; about myself. Help me walk in wisdom and honesty about who we are; not in fantasy about who I want us to be. Help me honor him as my brother in Christ, by first, being who You have called me to be as Your daughter. Help me to be so guided by Your hand, that even if it doesn’t work out between us, that he finds himself looking for a woman that reconnects him to a heart like mine–Not to find another me; but to find another “God-in-me”. Help me honor his manhood and his God-hood. Help me see beyond his flesh and his flaws so that I can see and value him. Help him see beyond my flesh and my flaws so that he can see and value me. If his intentions are honorable in Your sight, help me let my guard down so that I can let him in. Help him reach the parts of me that have been sanctified for covenant connection; not carnal connection. Help us strive to be an Ephesians 5 couple, purposing to glorify You with our relationship. I pray that You orchastrate our “coming together”. Tie all the loose ends. Open all the necessary doors. Build all the bridges and give us all the keys. Help us learn to love one another the way we need to love one another. Always keeping Your love as the standard for our love for one another–pure, honorable, intentional and purposeful. Bless our friendship. Help us develop companionship; not just settle for being company for one another. Help us develop this love as companions, not as competitors. Help us like one another and enjoy one another’s company. Help us genuinely appreciate and value one another. Help us to be able to take refuge in one another as we take refuge in You. If it’s Your will that we enter covenant, please help us be sexually enough and pleasing to one another. Help us honor each other’s bodies by being holy and faithful. Help us genuinely love each other’s children and families as our own. Help me to be a godly, motherly presence in the lives of his children. Help him to be a godly, fatherly presence in the lives of my children. Help our children respect, honor and value us and our union. Help us receive each other’s love. Help us be mindful of Satan’s vices against convenant commitments and fight to guard our union with one another and our union with You. Help us to live personally dedicated lives to You, so that we may be dedicated to one another. Help us be intentional about and with the glory we bring to You by us simply being together. Help us intentionally learn one another’s love language so that we can effectively and purposefully love one another as individuals. Give us the ability to communicate with one another in love and understanding. Empower us to teach and reach one another in love and in wisdom. Help us honor our relationship in spite of the between distance us.

In Jesus’ name, I pray.

Amen

*Tressa Jo

But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” Mark 8:33 NIV

When Jesus realized that He was being encouraged to deviate from the course God had him on, He rebuked Satan immediately. He spoke AT Peter, but He spoke TO Satan. One reason many of our words of rebukes have no weight is because we keep speaking to people, but we fail to speak to the spirit within people. We don’t war against flesh and blood. Jesus addressed the spirit behind Peter’s words. He didn’t attack Peter. He rebuked Satan. Truth be told, many of us aren’t able to fight in the Spirit because we aren’t even walking in the Spirit. We may even be religious. But we’re not spiritual. We’re in our flesh. We’re carnal. The Bible teachers that a spiritual person is able to judge all things. Why? A spiritual person isn’t limited to the vantage point of their flesh or outer experience. They’re not one dimensional. They’re able to see beyond what they see. And because of that, they can judge things from the core or the seed. Which is where a thing begins, thrives and dies.

Another reason our words of rebuke have no weight is because we don’t even “have in mind the concerns of God”. We’re really only concerned about our own human experiences. The Kingdom isn’t a priority. Living holy isn’t a priority. Glorifying God in undesirable circumstances is not a priority. So when we utter the words “Get thee behind me Satan!”, who takes us seriously? God? Satan? Who are we able to rebuke in the spirit when we’re in our flesh?

*Tressa Jo

When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortune. Job 42:10

Oftentimes, we find ourselves in the midst of hardships. During these times, we’re not as open to minister to others as we go through own hardships. As a matter of fact, when someone request our support, we quickly dismiss them by making it known that we’re going through a rough time ourselves and are in need of support too. We have nothing to give because we’re in need just as much as they are.

Even though Job was at the lowest point in his life with hardships beyond our comprehension, he still managed to pray for someone else. In his low place, having to deal with the many accusations and judgments of his, so-called, friends, he managed to step outside of his own hardship long enough to pray FOR his friends. He didn’t just pray about them. Even though he had great need himself, he still was able to see the needs of his friends even though they added to his suffering by failed attempts to offer support and encouragement. After Job stepped outside of his hardship and prayed for his friends, God restored his fortunes. It wasn’t when Job felt like giving up. It wasn’t when he wanted to die. It wasn’t when he was confused and feeling hopeless. It wasn’t when the person closest to him told him to curse God and die. It was when he prayed for someone else that God shifted his circumstances. Here’s what God is telling us today. The difference and distance between your dilemma and your deliverance may be your ability to get over yourself and pray for someone else.

*Tressa Jo

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

As simple as this formula is, it’s often the last resort for the children of God. We may vent to the Lord, but are we praying to Him? We vent lacking faith and hope that God can or will do anything about what we bring to Him. He’s just a listening ear, a sounding board. We don’t really expect Him to do anything. So we remain in a state of panic, confusion, faithlessness, anxiousness and despair. In other words, we act like the world–without hope.

But every now and then, we approach God full of faith and hope trusting Him to intercede. We have this trust not even knowing what God will do. But we know that He can do. There’s a reason God instructs us to approach anxiousness, initially with Thanksgiving. It’s a reminder that if God did it before, He can do it again. It helps us shift our focus from trouble to having hopeful anticipation of triumph. It shocks us back into the truthful reality that we’re not even in a fight FOR the victory. We’re actually fighting FROM the victory. We’ve already won! But being consumed with what our outer man is experiencing paralyzes us from being able to connect to and rely on what our inner man has already confirmed. We’re going to be alright! God has us! We must remember that even when we’re fearful, intimidated, nervous or unsure, nothing has the ability to take God by surprise, catch Him off guard or intimidate Him. He’s all powerful!

Soooo, discipline your thoughts today. Don’t allow the enemy to consume you with what he’s trying to consume you by. He’s a bully. His bark is a lot bigger than his bite. And he knows it. Focus on what you’re thankful for. Bring those things to God that the enemy is trying to use to rob you of your faith. Trust and believe that God has you and is still in control. Then experience His blessed peace. That peace will be so amazing that you have to shake your own head at yourself and wonder why you’ve wasted all this time worrying when you have a God so powerful.

People of God, there’s a lot of stuff going on around us. And for many, there’s a lot of stuff going on in us. Truly take it to God and know that it’s going to be alright.

*Tressa Jo

I see God moving across the deserts from Edom, the Holy One coming from Mount Paran. His brilliant splendor fills the heavens, and the earth is filled with his praise. His coming is as brilliant as the sunrise. Rays of light flash from his hands, where his awesome power is hidden. Pestilence marches before him; plague follows close behind. When he stops, the earth shakes. When he looks, the nations tremble. He shatters the everlasting mountains and levels the eternal hills. He is the Eternal One! Habakkuk 3:3-6

“Pestilence marches before him; plague follows close behind.”

Look at how God positions Himself here. He’s sandwiched right between pestilence and plague. Those don’t sound like ideal or desirable positions for a God so mighty to be in. Many of us will find ourselves right in the middle of hardship and trial; trouble and chaos; drama and trauma; struggle and strain; persecution and alienation; defeat and destitution; pain and problems; fear and failure; and the like. But we must realize that in spite of undesirable circumstances, God is still in the midst. Trouble has never had enough anything to scare off God. He’s big enough, strong enough and confident enough to unapologetically walk right down the middle isle of the troubles of life. Many of us have only attributed the presence of God with blue skies and rainbows. But God doesn’t coward down from any of His creations. He made the rainbow just like He made the tornado. He made the spring showers just like He made the summer tsunami. Therefore, He can move across them all untouched and unbothered. And because we only think He’s in the ideal and feel-good situations of life, we don’t even realize that the thunderstorms, the lightening flashes and the earthquakes we feel, are actually the force behind Him stepping onto the scene. Don’t lose faith just because there’s trouble on every side; pestilence in the front and plague in the back. Don’t grieve yourself waiting on God to show up when things are bad. He’s everywhere at the same time. Realize that He’s already there.

*Tressa Jo

One of the most debilitating things we do to ourselves is fail to grieve. Many of us haven’t grieved the losses we’ve experienced in life. We haven’t faced the true hurt we feel. We haven’t properly shed tears. And some of us haven’t even acknowledged how the loss has actually affected us. We’re in, what I call, survival mode. No time to hurt. No use in hurting. No sense in hurting. What good will it do? But whenever we resist the natural, healing process of grieving, we internalize the hurt to our own detriment. Our spirit becomes troubled. And our bodies becomes sick. Our way becomes burdensome. No one is so strong that they don’t hurt when they experience a loss. We may not all hurt the same way or to the same degree. But we all hurt. Strength is not denying pain in order to move forward. But strength is being able to move forward in spite of pain. Some have experienced grief from losing loved ones​; some from divorce and other broken relationships. Some have even experience grief from seasonal shifts in their lives that no longer require their presence. I’ve learned from my own grief, that when you don’t deal with it, it deals with you. So I’ve learned to shed those tears when they well up in my eyes from time to time. I’ve learned to tell God, “This still hurts!” “I loved her so much!” “I miss her so much, Lord!” And when I tell God where I am in that moment, He meets me there and comforts me. I don’t try to convince myself that it doesn’t hurt so I can feel better in that moment. I admit that it does hurt, so that I can be filled better as God sustains me. Grief is that thing in our human experience that God won’t necessarily snatch us out of. But He will sustain us if we let Him. “He comforts is IN all of our troubles.” Grief is that thing that requires us to perpetually trust God and His sovereignty. You may not shed tears like I do. But I want to encourage you to acknowledge your pain and​ your grief to God. Some of us are hard and calloused or even passive and cavalier about life. But it’s not always just because that’s just the way you are. It could be your survival mode defenses. It could be your attempt to feel in control or your attempt to stay disconnected​from your hurt. Unlike people, God knows why you are the way you are. He knows that you are hurting. And unlike people, He can actually do something about it. Let Him.

*Tressa Jo

Sometimes, the hardest thing to endure is process. Many of us have had to endure the process of letting go or saying goodbye. Others are enduring the process of deliverance. We’re waiting for God to deliver to us what we’ve been praying or toiling for. Or we’re waiting on God to deliver us from undesirable circumstances. Enduring in the waiting room of process is where temptation meets testing. Process is where the enemy tempts us. And it’s the place where God tests us. Process is the place where we’re tempted to abandon God. It’s also the place where we’re afforded opportunity to trust God. Process is never for God. It’s always for us. God doesn’t need process to do what He will to do. He subjects Himself to process for our benefit. He doesn’t need time to figure anything out. Neither does He need time to work anything out in our lives. Process is an accommodation for the limitations of our human experience and existence. He allows process for us to accomplish what we need to do, to acquire what we need to acquire and to develop into who we need to be. During process, God prepares us to receive. But He also prepares us to lose and let go. The hard part about process isn’t necessarily the fact that we have to wait. The hard part about process is waiting the right way. We can’t rush the clock. Neither can we slow it down. In the meantime, during the process, we will find ourselves in the middle of a faith fight–a constant tug-o-war between hope and hopelessness; between strength and weakness; between pushing forward and giving up; between trusting an invisible God or trusting what you can see; between believing God’s Truth or believing Satan’s lie; between giving it to God and taking things into your own hands; between what brings God glory and what brings you glory. Oftentimes, process is uncomfortable and painful because it requires us to operate from a place that has to trust what we’re not able to trace. But we walk by faith and not by sight. But even this is a process of intentional development. The process of bearing a cross offers no relief. It’s purposed by God to bring you from a place of suffering to a place of glory. And at the same time, the enemy will try to bring you from a place of suffering to a place of sin and separation. The process, also known as the journey, is hard. But it’s always worth it. It’s necessary for us to reach our destinations.

*Tressa Jo

A lot of times God will reveal to us things about ourselves. We intellectually embrace those truths and sincerely feel that we have had a life changing experience. However, revelation does not always or automatically equal transformation. The bible teaches us in Romans 12:2 to let God transform you by changing the way you think; by changing your mind. Sometimes, we mistake that mental or verbal assent or that warm emotional reaction for change. As a result, we perpetuate our own bondage. We may temporarily, succeed with a shift, and later find ourselves falling back into the same bondage because we didn’t actually change. “You can not fix a spiritual problem with a physical sacrifice”. There must be a change of our minds. That takes honesty and effort and the therapeutic Word of God.

Too often, God will turn on the light of Truth for us so that we can see in order to set us free. But we still walk around with our eyes closed in the darkness of emotionalism, slothfulness, pride and/or selfishness, lacking self-denial and godly purpose living. We’re still stuck in personal pleasure living.

Therefore, between your revelation and your transformation, there has to be intentional dedication to those things that make for true change that glorify God. You have to position yourself to have a transformed mind; not just position yourself to have transformed circumstances.

God is not our genie in a bottle. Neither is He about fulfilling our desires that have nothing to do with fulfilling His desire to be glorified. Many of us are so disconnected ​from our godly purpose that we can’t​ even connect the dots between our disconnect from our purpose and Divinely orchestrated​ denials and detours. We’re not denied because we have dishonorable desires. We’re denied because we have disconnected desires.

What we desire in life hasn’t centered itself around pleasing God or bringing Him glory of any kind. It’s really just about us. Remember, we were created for God’s good pleasure, not our own. Praising God for a blessing isn’t the same as glorifying God with and for a blessing.

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this.
Psalm 37:4-5

*Tressa Jo