I’m not far removed from this struggle. But I am definitely connected to it. After walking in the shoes of single parenting for 21 years, my compassion keeps me connected to the experience.
A word of encouragement for single mommies!
I just wanted to say that many of you make this single parent thing look easy. But I know it’s not. Often times, we stay in survival mode, attempting to give our children a sense of peace and not expose them to the urgency of the struggle. It’s one thing to be responsible for self. But it’s a whole other animal to be responsible for someone else all the time; day and night. As Christian mothers, our burden isn’t just limited to providing food, clothing and shelter for our children. We have a relentless concern for the spiritual welfare of our children; as it should be. You may find yourself burden, buried & bruised by life’s circumstances. Sometimes, you laugh to keep from crying. And sometimes, you cry to keep from crashing. You deny yourself & sacrifice so much to ensure your children are taken care of. You don’t pursue luxuries because you’re too busy trying to survive life. Sometimes, your lack of participation & recreation is misunderstood as a lack of desire & being boring. Many don’t know that limited resources, scarcity of available and reliable help with your kids & maturity keeps you keeping the main thing the main thing; them. What you want will always take a back burner to what’s needed; even if it means learning to appreciate sitting still & going without for the sake of peace in your life. You fight at times, not to be consumed by the things that concern you. You’re troubled on every side. Even your desire and pursuit for love can become a burden. Sometimes, to the point of choosing to abandon it because all the variables and unknowns just don’t seem to be worth the worry. I can’t risk failing these children again by getting with a man that won’t be a good father or that won’t be around for long. They’ve been through enough. They’re going through enough. In other words, you give up every part of you for those babies. You’ve neglected your health. You’ve denied your desires. You’ve given up on love. You’re stuck in survival mode trying to make a life for your children and at the same time, you’re losing yours. You’ve stopped dreaming just to stop being disappointed. What you’re calling contentment, may very well be complacency. You’ve stopped living just to survive. On the real, it hurts wanting what you don’t feel or can’t see is within reach. It’s just easier not to want. If they haven’t been there, most don’t understand the depth of our burden anyway. And that’s ok. God understands. Sometimes, the world will even place a scarlet letter on you and crucify you for not being needy. They refuse celebrate you for having the courage to do it by yourself and be happy doing it. One of my good friends told me a while ago, that it was time out for me wanting and that it was time for me to have. She told me that I deserved it. It brought me to tears. Not because I really feel that deserve it, but because I was relieved that somebody understood what I refused to say out loud. This thing isn’t as easy as I make it look. And I know that it’s not as easy as you make it look either. Be encouraged that God hears your spirit groaning & He sees your struggle. One thing that I’ve embraced that keeps my head above water is the fact that everything in my life happens for my growth & God’s glory. I am an intentional vessel for God’s glory. Whether on my mountaintop or in my valley, my desire is to glorify God. When I focus on the fact that my life was purposed for God’s glory, I don’t consume myself with where I am. But I think about where I’m going. Endure the process in order to get to the promise. His credit is good with me.
**Iwasdownyesterdaybutimuptoday**
Lamentations 3:21-24
19 The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. 20 I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. 21 Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: 22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”
BeyondSeeLevel 