One of the things that has been imperative in my ability to heal from hurt, get over disappointment & forgive was realizing & accepting the “me in my own mess”. Very often, particularly, in failed relationships/marriages, it’s very easy to blame the ‘apparent’ wrong of the other person for the desolation of the relationship. And as victims of disappointment, infidelity, betrayal & lies, the hurt has a tendency to blind us to the sin that dwells in us as victims of such (not the sin of the other person). Pre-relationship, we fail to grow in wisdom and understanding of God’s will for our life; which is where the protective custody of God dwells. Following His lead, denying self & developing an appetite that seeks to glorify Him saves us from a lot of relationship drama. Hindsight: Many of us have to admit that we weren’t wise or (spiritually) mature enough to enter into a relationship is the 1st place. Post-relationship, we think that the legitimate pain we experienced as a direct result of a violation of the relationship entitles us to react in our feelings & exonerates us from the expectations of God. How so? We refuse to forgive. We conduct ourselves with a spirit of justified retaliation. We resist the ability that the Holy Spirit gives us to operate outside of the inclinations of our flesh & walk in the Spirit. In other words, we refuse, resist & reject the reconciliation power the Holy Spirit.
Sometimes, we have it so backwards. We think that a heart of stone, hardness, stubbornness & a refusal to “take that” is what guards us from future hurt. Not so. A submission to the work of the Holy Spirit is what protects. You can put up every wall you have in order to protect your heart. But it’s the removal of the ceiling that protects us; that thing that stands between you and a transparent, honest, submitting, humble & broken relationship with God. When you remove the ceiling, God will lead you in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. And in submitting to His guidance for your life, He will guide you to the places where it’s safe to let the walls down. But we have to first learn that we need to get out of our own way. It takes wisdom. It takes self-denial. It takes personal ownership & accountability. Way too many of us seek to do our own thing expecting & praying to God to bless it; never really considering His ultimate will & purpose for our lives. But we need to learn to desire & seek after those things that God has already blessed & know that He will give us the desires of our hearts according to His will & purpose. The truth of the matter is that God saved us to be about His business, not our own.
***If your ceiling isn’t removed, it doesn’t matter how many walls you put up or take down.***
*tj
BeyondSeeLevel 