BeyondSeeLevel

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. – Romans 8:26-27

What are our weakness? Perhaps our weakness is the fact that we pray, but we really don’t know what to pray for. Thank God the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf. Thank God the Holy Spirit intercedes in accordance to God’s will and not our desires. God is very strategic and purposeful in how He orchestrates everything! Ultimately, His glory is primary. In life or in death…. God is glorified whenever His will is done. When the heart of our desires and prayers are dominated and motivated by anything other than God’s glory and His will, His manifested glory and will won’t be a source of contentment, comfort or peace for us. Why? Because His glory and His will being done was never the heart of our prayers. Perhaps our own glory was. Tragedy, disaster, nor death has the ability to rob God of His glory. We can pray that the cup of anguish pass from us all day long, but if God won’t get glory from it, God’s will to be glorified will supercede your prayer. We were made for God. God wasn’t made for us. As a matter of fact, we don’t even have to pray that God’s will be done. We need to pray that we are able to accept His will when done. Truly embracing the sovereignty of God will require you to have a “nevertheless” kind of faith.

Nevertheless opens our hearts to receive God’s answer, not just receive what we pray for. God’s answer according to His will may not be what we pray for, but it’s for His glory. And it’s for our growth. Having a nevertheless will give us peace when we’re in limbo between our faith and our feelings. It allows us to trust God to do what’s best even when we may not understand why. Nevertheless empowers us to lean not to our own understanding and in all our ways acknowledge God and He will direct our paths.

Lord,

I pray…..
Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.

Amen

Luke 22:42

*Tressa Jo

Once upon a time in my life, I was in a very dysfunction marriage. He was my first love right out of high school. So you can imagine just how emotionally attached I was to him. During this time, I was at the beginning of my walk with the Lord. For the first two years after I gave my life to God, I had Him, but I hadn’t really allowed God to have me.

I was committed and faithful to my husband. But it seemed that the more committed I was to him, the less committed he was to me. This crushed my spirit daily. As often as we’d attempt to reconcile, it seemed to be just a verbal agreement to get me to stop talking about our problems. I never had to “take him back” because I couldn’t really let him go.

I remember one day in particular. I was unexpectedly, brought face to face with his infidelity yet again. It was only unexpected because the night before, we had had one of our meetings of reconciliation. So, needless to say, I was feeling good in my spirit, thinking that my little family was safe and secure and things were on the up and up.

Wrong! I started to cry out to the Lord again! Nothing new. Same ole tears. Same ole complaints. Same ole accusations. I reminded God again of all the wrong my husband was doing. I told God that I didn’t deserve this because I was such a faithful wife. I had never even considered being unfaithful to my husband, even though I wasn’t being treated right. I deserved better than what I was getting.

Like the times before, neither my husband nor my circumstances changed. As a matter of fact, it seemed to me, that they both got worse. I would pray and listen for God to give me a Word about my unfaithful husband. But God didn’t do that. God was silent when it came to my husband. I didn’t even realize that God had been trying to tell me about me all that time. But my ears were closed to that because I wasn’t listening for it. Honestly, outside of God’s words of comfort for my broken heart, I didn’t think there was anything else for Him to tell me concerning my marriage.

Quite the contrary, God had plenty to say to me about me concerning my marriage. And it wasn’t what I expected at all. God revealed to me that, in spite of my husband’s demons, I had several of my own. And because of my own demons, even if I had gained the favor of my husband, I still did not have God’s favor. My demons had me so blinded, that I looked right past my own demons to focus on my husband’s. And I believe that because of this, God couldn’t tell me anything about myself because I would not have received it anyway. So instead of God telling me anything, He simply asked me questions that required me to look at myself. The questions required me to consider my marriage, but they were purposed to get me to see the me in my own mess. God took pity on me. He was merciful enough to expose me to myself. Look what God asked me not concerning my marriage, but about me.

Have you ever cried when you didn’t hear from Me?
Have you ever lost your appetite when you felt disconnected from Me?
Have you ever lost any sleep waiting on Me to show you some love and affection?
Have you ever manipulated your schedule to make sure you were able to spend time with Me?
Am I really your #1 priority?

In that moment, my marriage was no longer the topic of discussion. I was! God’s questioning forced me to do something I hadn’t done in a long time. I had to look at myself. Not at what was happening to me. Not what my husband was doing to me. But me… In that self-evaluation, God introduced me to the demons that had been dominating me — the ones that had blinded me to myself.

First, He introduce me to my spirit of idolatry. God showed me in this relationship, that my husband was more of a god to me than God was God to me. I would forsake the assembly in order to try to secure some time with my husband. But that got me nowhere. Although my relationship with my husband wasn’t healthy, I still spent more time and effort trying to make sure that relationship was okay than I had ever put into securing my relationship with God. “You shall have no other gods before me.” – Exodus 20:3

Next, God introduced me to my spirit of self-righteousness. As much attention as I gave to my husband’s wrongdoings and sin, I never really paid attention to my own. I would compare my perceived goodness to his apparent badness and I felt pretty good about myself. Especially, as it related to where we both stood with God. I was in a much better place because I was faithful in the marriage. But had I considered my own unfaithfulness to God, I would have drawn a different conclusion. And I would have walked more in humility than pride. Because right then, I realized that just because I wasn’t in sin the way my husband was, I was still in sin. “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” – Matthew 7:5

That wasn’t the end. God continued to expose me to myself. He showed me my spirit of retaliation. I had felt justified in my wrongdoings so long, I didn’t even consider the things I had done retaliation. My hurt had blinded me to the fact that I wanted to see him hurt, the way he hurt me. I was simply responding to how he had treated me. I wasn’t wrong. I was justified because had he not done bad things to me, I would not have wanted bad things to happen to him. “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19

Finally, God introduced me to my own selfishness. I spent a lot of time praying ABOUT my husband. But I didn’t pray FOR him. I wanted God to fix him for me. But I wasn’t concerned about how he stood in the presence of God. I would ask God to move my husband’s heart to be faithful to me — to love me. But it never dawned on me that outside of what I wanted from my husband to do and be for me, I didn’t have any love for him. I only cared about the parts of him that served me. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” – Philippians 2:3-4

I’m sure there were plenty of other things that God showed me about myself during that season. And I’ve tried to walk in those life altering, awakening moments since then. God used the dysfunctions in my relationship with my husband to expose me to the dysfunctions in my relationship with Him. My husband was unfaithful to me. I was unfaithful to God. My husband was using me. I was using God. I couldn’t trust my husband to care for our relationship. God couldn’t trust me to care for ours.

This was a very difficult season for me. But it was also one of the most rewarding. God opened my eyes to see what my hurt and pride wouldn’t allow me to see — the “me in my own mess”. “The LORD opens the eyes of the blind; The LORD raises up those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous” – Psalm 146:8

The missing piece I needed to heal from my past hurt was my own repentance.

*Tressa Jo

You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.”

Some of us would rather believe that the picture or images of someone else’s happiness is a lie, rather than celebrate and be genuinely happy for them. We’d rather chalk it up to “You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.” While this is true, you don’t know. But the fact that you’d rather co-sign your own ignorance and imagination of what could be behind their closed doors, instead of celebrate the picture of their happiness they actually allow you to see, exposes more of what’s behind the closed doors of your heart. Keep in mind, that what’s behind their closed doors isn’t even your business anyway. But you’d have a problem with that too if they showed you. “They tell too much of their business!” Well when they didn’t tell you, you chose to think the worst. Moral of the story: Learn to be happy for others even when it’s not your turn. It may actually plant a seed in your life to reap a harvest of happiness later. If you choose to think the worst and refuse to be happy for others, it may even plant a seed to reap a harvest of unhappiness later. You reap what you sow. This may explain why you’re so bitter, jealous and discontent.

Instead of you seeking personal peace in your own life thinking about the possibility of the worse in someone else’s life, try learning true contentment. If you being able to be happy about what you have going on (or not going on) in your own life is determined by the thought of someone else’s misery or them having it worse than you, you’re not genuinely happy and the most miserable of them all.

*Tressa Jo

Forgiveness would seem to be one of those simple Christian charges to understand and walk in. But I’ve learned that many have an understanding of forgiveness that’s not taught in the Word. The question was asked “Can you forgive a person who hasn’t asked for forgiveness or haven’t repented”? The following are my thoughts on the matter.

I don’t think forgiveness can be granted where there’s no repentance or a request to be forgiven hasn’t been made. I do believe that in that instance, you practice long-suffering. The Bible teaches that we shouldn’t seek retaliation because vengeance belongs to the Lord. Just as God does for us. It doesn’t mean that we won’t or aren’t willing to forgive. But the criteria to be forgiven hasn’t been met. Same as God with us. God extends long-suffering toward us in the absence of our repentance. Otherwise, we’d have to experience the deserved, immediate wrath of God. Long-suffering is the waiting room of mercy. It’s withholding due punishment. Long-suffering grants opportunity to repent. Long-suffering is for us, not for God. Likewise, our long-suffering should have the same motive in mind–to genuinely allow a person time to come into a place of repentance. Thus, getting it right with God even if our relationship isn’t restored to its original state. But to “forgive” without holding a person accountable eliminates that process. In addition, it exonerates us, as the offended, of the responsibility to love beyond fault and seek reconciliation, when possible. I think to “forgive no matter what” easily becomes dismissal, enablement and passivity instead of the purpose in which God intended it to be. Many will “forgive” to avoid confrontation, pain and rejection by never addressing issues, in the hopes of being able to move on with their lives. That’s not forgiveness. That’s dismissal. Resentment, pride and unhealed wounds will usually follow. After Christ’s crucification on the cross, all men are now commanded to repent; no more “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”. True repentance is motivated by godly sorrow, not sorrow because of consequences. When we do forgive, we may not be able to weigh the genuineness of a person’s heart outside of their behaviors, but God sees beyond changed behaviors. I believe that’s why He teaches us to forgive 7 x 70. We forgive within the limitations of our humanness–not being able to judge the hearts of people. But God will deal with what we can’t, whether the request for forgiveness is genuine or not. The fact that a person keeps messing up doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t genuine. The struggle can just be that real for them. Same with us. How many times have we asked God to forgive us for the same exact thing? Were you sincere when you asked Him before? But the struggle just may be that real for you too. Doesn’t mean that there won’t be any consequences tho. But even the consequences are purposed to draw us back to Him in repentance. For He chastens those He loves. God’s long-suffering and forgiveness is motivated by love and a desire for us to be reconciled back to Him. Our long-suffering and forgiveness of others should have the same motive. Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus. Forgiveness/long-suffering is a God quality and actually evidence of the Holy Spirit that dwells in us. But it’s never to dismiss or enable a person in their sin. It’s always to draw a person back in the spirit of reconciliation. This requires that genuine, agape love God commands us to have for others. I think what we struggle with, is thinking that a lack of forgiveness is always attached to holding a grudge and/or having unforgiveness in our own hearts. Not so. If God doesn’t forgive us, it’s not because He doesn’t want to. We haven’t met the criteria to be forgiven–repentance. That’s why Long-suffering is necessary. Now…we can actually hold grudges and refuse to forgive someone. Then, we’d find ourselves out of the will of God, needing to repent and needing God’s forgiveness ourselves. The Word teaches that if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us. When we sin and need God’s forgiveness, but fail to repent, God extends long-suffering. He’s not holding a grudge against us, struggling or refusing to forgive us. Neither is He dismissing us for what we’ve done wrong or no longer holds us accountable for what we’ve done wrong. He’s simply loving us enough to “allow us time to get it right” with Him; to repent–change our hearts in order to change our behaviors. The way many have approached forgiveness, seems to be more of a defense mechanism, than it is a Christian duty. The heart of our forgiveness is weighed by God, just like the heart of the person seeking forgiveness.

*Tressa Jo

Everybody wants to be a ‘power couple”. The world definitely has its own definition and images for a power couple. We see celebrity couples in the media all the time, married or not, that have been deemed power couples. Why? Why are they considered power couples in the world? Moreso, why have the children of God chosen to use those images and individuals as examples for power couples as relationship goals. Particularly, when they have not made public declarations or professions that they have submitted their lives to the God of heaven?

Christians that want a God product have to be willing to submit to a God process. I think the fact that Christians have conformed to worldly systems to confirm, validate and pursue relationships, has crippled the coming together of “holy matrimonies”. It seems Christians are more guided by the world than the Word of God when it comes to seeking guidance on marriage and relationships. “Holy matrimony” doesn’t even seem to be primarily the goal or standard for Christian marriages nowadays. A simple matrimony will suffice.

People are seeking to be “Power Couples” that don’t actually have any power — at least, no Holy Ghost power. The deviation from biblical principles and the conformity to worldly systems has created a whirlwind of relational and marital dysfunctions in the Christian community. This deviation has created in us an out-of-order desire for purpose, but an insatiable pursuit for pleasures. What we desire precedes what God has purposed for our lives and for marriage. Therefore, we desire purpose, but we pursue pleasure.

My first consideration and question to anyone desiring marriage is: Why do you want to get married? What kind of marriage do you want? This determines how and who you pursue or consider as a mate. Let’s face it, measuring up to God’s design for marriage isn’t at the top of the “to-do-list” for many.

Therefore, when the question is asked “how does a person find a godly, ethical potential mate who sincerely desires marriage”, we have to first verify that the one that’s seeking actually measures up to that, themselves. That’s what you want, but is that really who you are? We must consistently live by those standards that keep us in the will of God and keep us from stepping outside of our God purpose, to be with someone that hasn’t stepped into theirs. God honors what we desire to honor Him with.

Walking in your God purpose won’t eliminate the desire for marriage or for companionship, but it will sanctify your desires and align them with God’s plan for your life. Godly, purpose living will transition you from having a “list” to having “standards”. You can check things off a list, but standards are designed to be perpetually lived out. And in order for something to come out of you, it has to first be in you. Therefore, to qualify a person by your standards (established by God), requires you to dig beneath the surface of what you see in order to learn who they are and to learn Who’s they are.

Walking in your God purpose won’t eliminate dealing with loneliness or lust either, but it will give you the ability to temper your desires and take refuge in God. When we check our hearts and intentions and align them with the will of God, concerning holy matrimony, God starts orchestrating godly unions that will glorify Himself; not just bring us pleasure. And as long as we discipline ourselves and walk in the Spirit of God, when/if God presents one of his submitted sons/daughters, we will be able to discern with the right set of (spiritual) eyes that he’s/she’s from God; and not carnal bait from the enemy that caters to our flesh, our deficiencies, our dysfunctions, our pride, our egos or our inner brokenness.

We will actively walk in wisdom and be more equipped to walk in godly contentment and discernment. We won’t fall victim to the Thirst Trap. And this will empower us to dismiss anything or anyone that’s contrary to our God assignment.

This waiting room takes patience. It takes patience for us to submit our own lives to God in order for God to shape us into the individuals He wants us to be for Himself; not shape us to be who we want to be for a man or a woman. Remember, God is a jealous God. And it also takes patience for us to wait for a God-sent man or woman. This is where the real power is.

Kingdom woman + Kingdom man = Kingdom couple = God glorification

*Tressa Jo

I’m sitting here reminiscing with my Shuga about the past year of our journey. One year ago (tomorrow), I made my move to a new city to pursue life with him as his wife. After living in Dallas my entire life, having only experienced failed relationships, I was amazed at the lack of hesitancy I had in moving forward with our relationship and relocating to be with him. Everything about his efforts to pursue me, gave me every reason to say “yes”. We had our first conversation on May 28th, 2017. He came to visit me a month later. After we parted ways that evening, I called my friend Katrina and said “That’s my husband!”. I knew he was the one! Nothing like my past experiences.

I watched, waited and listen for him to contradict himself. He didn’t. I waited for his horny hound dog to surface. It didn’t. I waited for his demeanor to change after he got used to me. It didn’t. I waited, but he stayed the same. And most times, he just kept getting better. He committed to coming to see me once a month initially, but soon after made it every two weeks. He sacrificed his time and his money to make sure he saw me as often as possible.

It was foreign to most people that knew me to see Tressa in a relationship. Almost 11 years of flying solo and being a church girl moma bear is all they knew. So all of the unknowns seemed to have some doubting the validity and soundness of my relationship. Because I was confirmed by the Spirit of God by continuous prayer and submission, I was unapologetic about my relationship, knowing the intricate pieces of the puzzle that God made obvious to me that this man was a gift from Him. I knew what some were saying behind my back. And I have to admit, I was a little disappointed and hurt by a few that I felt would celebrate my relationship but didn’t. They fell back from me and treated me as if I had done something wrong. I fully embraced the fact that people are sometimes so programed to wordly agendas and worldly confirmations, that when the Holy Spirit orchestrates relational unions, they doubt the validity thereof because they can’t confirm that it passes the world’s check list for what makes a marriage work. But my check list was taken from the Book, not the world. 🙂 Then I realized that sometimes, people’s access to you is more important to them than your growth and happiness. Therefore, I made a decision very early not to ask people for permission to receive what God was, so boldly giving me.

James brought a level a security and consistency into my life that I had never received from any man in my life — not from a father, a brother, a friend or from a previous relationship. And now, a year in a new city and a year and a half married to the man of my prayers (not my dreams), I realize the power of when the rib fits right.

It’s like trying to force the wrong puzzle piece to fit in a place it doesn’t belong. It may look like it belongs but as the puzzle continues to come together, you realize that it didn’t fit and it throws off the entire picture.

Just like Adam’s rib. A specific woman was made from the rib of a specific man. A man can try his hardest to make a woman fit into his life that’s not supposed to be in his life. Likewise, a woman can try her hardest to fit into a man’s life she’s not supposed to fit in. And when it doesn’t fit, it hurts. And sometimes, you don’t realize that the puzzle piece you were trying to fit was never part of your puzzle until you’ve spent too much time hurting trying to create a picture with pieces that don’t even belong together.

But James, my Shuga Boo..

When the rib fits right….

Proverbs 10:23
The blessing of the LORD makes a person rich, and he adds no sorrow with it.

*Tressa Jo

The relationship between a husband and a wife is threefold. It’s positional. It’s purpose. It’s performance. If an individual does not respect and honor the marital position of their spouse or understand and appreciate the purpose their spouse is called into and serves in their relationship, they will not value how their spouse performs in the marriage. Positionally, they must value and respect the place their spouse holds in their lives. They have to understand that their spouse is priority over any and all other relationships, outside of their relationship with God. And because they honor and respect the position of their spouse in the marriage, they will protect, nurture and steward their marriage in a way that promotes marital security and longevity.

Marriage is also purpose. When an individual enters into a marriage, they must have an understanding of God’s Divine purpose for marriage–not just their marriage. Then they must come to an understanding of why God placed them in their spouse’s life specifically. And why God placed them in their lives. Embracing purpose in a marriage promotes intimacy, servitude and sacrifice. It keeps the marriage in line with God’s Divine intentions and purpose for marriage. It also creates a path for guidance and direction that creates harmony and oneness because both have committed to walking in the same direction to fulfill the same Divine purpose.

Marriage is also performance. Both the husband and the wife are called into this relationship positionally and purposefully. But they must also perform. God has given both the husband and the wife specific roles to playin this Divine union of marriage. Whenever roles and duties are abandoned, neglected or abused, individuals suffer and marital harmony and union is compromised. However, even when an individual effectively and consistently performs within the marriage, if the other spouse never develops a consistent mindset and appreciation for marital position and purpose, how the other performs won’t be valued or appreciated either. In other words, they can do everything right but it still won’t be enough.

True commitment in marriage has to include a commitment to the individual. But it also has to include a commitment and understanding of covenant. Covenant recognizes that God brings the two together. But covenant also continues to seek God to keep them together.

*Tressa Jo

It’s not uncommon for a member of a congregation to NOT be totally satisfied with everything in it. It’s good in this area, but needs work in that area. If it’s not the preaching, it’s the singing. If it’s not the hospitality, it’s the lack of outreach. If it’s not the leadership, it’s the followship. It’s always something wrong. Some people are so dissatisfied with their congregation, they even contemplate leaving to find what they feel is “better” or what they need. I will not begin to pretend that those things don’t matter, because they do. But I will say this, the way some ‘worship services’ are set up in local congregations all over the world, inadvertently have shifted the focus of worship of God on to our cultures, preferences, comfortabilities and likes. They’ve become religious arenas to do what we like, instead of what God likes.

The only person in the audience during worship, is God. We have members that lead in our assembly experiences to serve in different capacities. Sometimes we have a tendency to respond more to their performances, instead of being focused on the fact that God is observing us for our own individual worship to Him — the intentions of our hearts, our focus and the sincerity of our worship to God. When we come into the House of God, we’re all 100% responsible for offering up a worship to God regardless to what others are doing or not doing. Keep this in mind, just because we offer our praise and worship up to God, doesn’t automatically mean He accepts it. I think some of us would be totally shocked if we realized what God thinks and feels about our worship to Him — not the expressions of our worship. We sing good. We give good. We’re committed in service and consistent in attendance, but God is weighing the intentionality, sincerity, focus and hearts of our worship. He looks past how we perform and position ourselves in church, directly at our purpose and heart posture in Christ.

Sometimes, our lack of spiritual maturity, play a bigger part in our discontentment than we may realize. Perhaps we need to reprogram ourselves to think more “worship” than “service”. We say “Service was good.” “Church was good.”, as if our opinion of acceptance solidifies the genuineness of our worship and makes it a sweet smelling aroma in the nostrils of God. We assume that our participation in church or service mean that we’ve worshipped. It doesn’t. And we think that just because we attended ‘service’ means that we’re automatically serving God. It doesn’t. God is looking for a heart posture. And unfortunately, many of us have become the objects of our own worship to God. Our preferences get in the way. We can’t even enter into the presence of God because that preacher is or isn’t preaching; that person is or isn’t singing; that brother/sister is here or not here; that sound system isn’t working right; that greeter didn’t make me feel welcomed; the list is endless.

No congregation is perfect. If it was, it became imperfect the moment we got there. Sometimes, you have to work with what you got — kind of like what God is doing with us. He uses us all in spite of our flaws and failures. Then we must pray that God sends our congregation what or who it doesn’t have. You may be surprised if nothing changes but the people that are already there, including you.

Church folk will complain all day long about what we haven’t even committed ourselves to praying to God about. Shame on us! Our agitations should provoke prayers and Kingdom contributions, not criticisms and abandonment. We should have intentions to be part of our congregations to make a Kingdom contribution. Especially when we feel something is missing. Some of us are planning our exit strategy because we’ve come to receive, but we’ve yet to make a priority to give and serve. We think it’s about us everywhere we go. What we want. What we need. What we like. What we don’t like. It’s not. It’s about God! And when we make Him the priority, He’ll make sure that we have what we need.

Before you leave, spend time praying for yourself and your church. Ask God to grow you into a place where your worship experience with Him is so intentional and so engrossed that what’s going on around you won’t even matter. Who’s worshipping next to you or before you won’t matter, because you’re so focused on His presence and expectations of you; not your expectations of everyone else. Then pray that God sends your congregation whatever and whoever it needs to be more effective at helping people come to salvation and edifying souls. God may just start with you.

I’ve been discontent. I’ve complained. I’ve criticized. I’ve wanted to leave. But my prayer for myself was to keep the main thing the main thing…. My own worship to God and my Kingdom contribution. I want to be a solution to a problem. I want to make a difference, not just a dent in my church. I had to check myself and start praying for my own attitude and my perceptions. I had to address my own worship before the Lord. Then I started praying for my church and those that lead it. And all I can say is “Wow”. God moved! Not to please me. But to grow His church one member at a time to do what He’s called us to do. And He started with me 1st.

*Tressa Jo

When Jonah fled on a ship to Tarshish, he brought something with him. He brought a storm. That storm was so intense that it affected every sailor on that ship. The sailors fought to keep the ship from sinking. They tossed cargo into the sea to lighten the load. But that didn’t work. Jonah confessed that the storm was his fault. He had disobeyed God. Neither tossing cargo overboard or Jonah’s confession calmed the storm. The storm became stronger and stronger and the sailors became desperate because they knew their lives were in jeopardy because Jonah was on the ship. They asked Jonah, “What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?” Jonah said, “Pick me up, and throw me into the sea, and then it will calm down. I know it is my fault that this great storm has come on you.” But even then, the sailors didn’t want to throw Jonah overboard. They tried to row the ship back to land, but they couldn’t. The sailors cried out to the Lord and eventually threw Jonah overboard to save their lives. The sea calmed. The storm was over. Their lives were no longer in jeopardy. Jonah was no longer in the boat.

The sailors on that ship came to realize what many of us have come to realize today. They realized that sometimes the drama in people’s lives become your drama when they get too close. Their storms become your storms. Jonah wasn’t a bad person. But he brought drama with him because of the choices and decisions he made that went against God’s commands.

Jonah confessed that he was the cause of the storm. But oftentimes, the people that come into our lives that bring trauma and drama won’t confess or even realize that they are the cause for so much chaos–not even when you tell them. Nevertheless, we have to make a decision whether or not to keep that person on our ship and risk our own demise or throw that person overboard.

This is why it is so important to use godly wisdom and discernment when allowing people into your lives and into your personal space. Because they don’t just bring themselves. They also bring energies, spirits and demonic influences. And when those energies, spirits and influences get close enough to you, they will attach themselves to you. Your entire world can be turned upside down. Not because you’re doing something wrong–but because you’ve allowed the wrong people into your life.

I once had a very significant relationship with an individual. I wanted this person in my life. But the relationship was abusive,toxic and dysfunctional. It seemed that every time I allowed this person into my life all hell would break loose. But as quick as they left, things would get better almost immediately. My peace would return. My stress would subside. My finances would improve. My overall life was better when they weren’t there. Eventually, I had to come to a realization and except that they were the reason for the storms in my life during that season. I remember the final conversation I had with this individual to close that chapter of my life. I told them that if I didn’t let them go, everyone in my ship would be destroyed.

Listen: You may have to tell someone, “Get off my ship!” to save your own life.

*Tressa Jo