BeyondSeeLevel

So I just turned 40 years old. I’ve never been known to make a big to-do about my birthday. I don’t really celebrate me. Not quite sure why I don’t.  But I have a few thoughts. And since I don’t make a big deal about it, I’m always overwhelmed when others do. I definitely love & appreciate all the  well wishes and love. But there are certain words that touch me in a very deep way.  People take this day,  of all days,  to express to me how they really feel about our relationship and about me as a person.  I’m very intentional in my relationships. I want people to feel better & be better after an encounter with me.  Above all things, I’m most moved by those words that express the God impression I’ve left on them.  I often say,  “I don’t want to or try to be impressive.  I just want to be effective.” And I really do mean this.

I sit and wonder sometimes why in the world does God choose to use my pathetic self as a vessel for His glory?  Why would He bother Himself positioning someone as inconsistent as I am at times, to do anything great?  Why would He put people in my path that I’m able to connect with beyond myself and in spite of myself?
Most of the time,  birthdays cause you to reflect and remember.  You remember where you’ve come from.  You remember who you used to be.  You remember the tears you’ve shed.  You remember the loved ones you’ve lost.  And sometimes in your remembering,  you cry tears of grief.  Other times,  you celebrate overcoming hardships. Then at times,  you sit in silence anticipating what’s next.

As I listen to & read the warm sentiments that are purposed to celebrate me,  I started to connect my  “back then” with my “right now”. And then it made sense to me.  It was for my growth & for God’s glory.

I can’t celebrate myself without celebrating God.  I know who I used to be.  I know what I used to do.  I know who I’d still be if I didn’t have God leading me. I know what I’d still be doing had I not surrendered my life to God. And because I know me,  I can’t boast on who I am or how people see me.  Yes.  I’m intentional in my walk with God.  But I know it’s Him that works in me to will and do of His good pleasure.  In and of myself,  I can’t do it.

I don’t downplay what God is doing thru me. It took me a while to recognize that He chose me.  He chose this woman that should have died on two different occasions, as a teen after two suicide attempts. He chose this woman that married young and divorced young.  He chose this woman that would be a single mother of two children.  He chose this woman that would be widowed after a second marriage. He chose this woman that survived domestic violence & sexual abuse.  He chose this woman that would struggle financially.  He chose this woman that didn’t have a college degree. He chose this woman that occasionally, still struggles with loving herself. He chose this woman that still wonders, at times, if she’s good enough to serve the people of God effectively. He chose this woman to minster from the places of her brokenness; her weaknesses.  He chose this woman to speak words that were articulated by her, but came directly from Him. He chose this woman to minister to people with what she needed, not what she had. He chose this woman that’s now ok with her “in spite of” calling & with her “in spite of” ministry.

In spite of me, God uses me.  I’ll never be perfect.  But I’m purposed.  I’ll never be sinless. But I’ll continue to strive to sin less. So my overwhelming birthday sentiment is this:

My mess caused me misery.  But I took that misery to the Master.  Then the Master had mercy on me.  After He had mercy on me,  He gave me a ministry.  Now I’m on a mission.

The beautiful thing is the fact that we all have an “in spite of” calling and ministry.

*Tressa Jo

There are times I’m privileged to see my children off to school in the mornings. My oldest daughter catches the school bus. However, because of my work schedule, sometimes, my child care provider comes to pick my little up in the mornings.

As I await the van’s arrival, I sit in my living room. But as I sit in my living room waiting, I’m listening to the television in my bedroom. I was waiting on the van, but I was listening to the television in the next room. In addition to the sounds coming from the television, my oldest daughter always turns on her radio in the mornings.

Well, one particular morning, I waited & waited–no van. After about 20 minutes or so, I decided to give them a call. The director answered and said he came & blew his horn several times. But I heard nothing. Although, I was positioned in the living room waiting for his arrival, I didn’t hear him. Anyway, thankfully, he’s only a few minutes away and came back to get her.

Now, I sit right by my front door & listen for the horn. My television is still on & my daughter’s radio is still playing, but I don’t focus on those noises. I focus on listening for the van’s arrival. And I hear it loud and clear in spite of the other noises around me.

I thought about the voice of God. Very often, we position ourselves to hear Him, but because of the noises surrounding us, we don’t hear Him when He speaks. Why? We’re anticipating His voice. We’re waiting to hear from Him. Why is it that when He speaks to us, we don’t hear Him?

Just like I was in the living room waiting for the van, my attention and focus was somewhere else. Where is your focus? Where is your attention? You can actually be in the right place, at the right time & still be marked absent because you didn‘t raise your hand when your name was called. Why? Because you weren’t listening. Anticipating to hear the voice of God requires more than your attendance; more than your presence. It even requires more than your good intentions to hear Him. You have to pay attention & focus on what you’re waiting for.

We know that Satan is the master of distractions. He doesn’t want you to hear the voice of God. If he doesn’t succeed with the distractions, believe that he will attempt to take away your hearing. Sometimes, you have to relocate to a quieter location in order to hear what you need to hear from the Lord. Turn down all the noises. Unplug the television. Turn off the radio. Turn the ringer off. Put your preconceived ideas & opinions on the back burner. Seek a conviction instead of a co-sign. You won’t be able to hear Him if your mouth is constantly yapping anyway. Neither will you be able to hear Him if you think you already know. Listen for God! Listen to God!

When you pay attention to someone, you can easily hear them even when you’re surrounded by other noises & other voices. You will not hear the voice of God if you’re listening to everybody & everything else. This includes self. You will not hear His voice if you are not intentionally focused on hearing His voice. You have to pay attention to what you’re waiting for. Otherwise, it will come and go & you wouldn’t have even known it. And not always, will it come back and blow a second time.

*Tressa Jo

Sunday morning, I was all up in my flesh. I didn’t want to go to church. Being my extroverted self, I just wanted to be disconnected & un-engaged. I didn’t consider not going. However, I did consider visiting another church. I didn’t want to have to be sociable beyond the surface. Just say “hi” and keep it moving. I didn’t want to be around anybody familiar. But of course, I went anyway. It’s crazy cause I didn’t want to be social, but at the same time, I didn’t want to go a Sunday without seeing my church family. I needed the hugs. I needed to smiles. I needed to be around them. Plus, I didn’t want my little one to miss out on her bible class and children’s worship. She loves attending them. So, I denied what I was feeling and started praying for myself. I asked God to forgive me for being all up in my flesh and not focusing on things above. Then I expressed that I needed a word from Him today. I needed God to minister to my life. Thing is, I didn’t know what I specifically needed. But I trusted that He did. So there I was in Sunday school being intentional in my learning. I asked God to give me something. I’d be foolish to sit idle, disconnected in the assembly and not be watchful for what He had for me. The lesson was awesome! I felt quickened in my spirit. Then I move on to worship. My flesh was still trying to block me, but I was determined to worship God. I was on the stage. God was in the audience. I had to close my eyes to stay focused. But I stayed focused & connected. The praise leaders sang a song that invited the Holy Spirit in. I sang and invited the Holy Spirit in. He was welcomed here.
I know this struggle isn’t foreign to many. The flesh is a beast and doesn’t want us to position ourselves to receive the spiritual blessings of God. And it uses life against us in this endeavor. But it also uses ‘us’ against us. Sometimes, it’s just too much of us in the way to receive the spiritual blessings of God. This is why self-denial is so important for the child of God. As long as you are wrapped up in human flesh, there will be a part of you that wars against & resists the spirit in you and constantly tries to disconnect you from the presence of God. We have to be very intentional in our worship and in our relationship with God. Otherwise, we can find ourselves assemblers, but not worshipers.

#Self-denial
#Purpose
#Expectation
#Humility
#Repentance

Praise & Worship
Praise is about God. Worship is to God.
Praise is opening up. Worship is entering in.
Praise is boldly declaring. Worship is humbly bowing in the presence of the Holy God.
Praise applauds what God has done & is doing. Worship honors God for Who His is.

*tj

Sometimes, our biggest defeat is not disappointment. But our biggest defeat is expectation. You can’t draw water out of empty wells, no matter how much you try. God provides the well and He provides the water. We all have a well that we would prefer to drink from.  But our preference isn’t where the power is. The power is in God’s provisions. If your preference is dry, that’s not the one. Trust the well God provides. That’s where the power is.

*tj

Sometimes, we think the ultimate sign of release is being able to cry about something that’s grieving us.  But the ultimate sign of release is actually surrendering to God. You may or may not cry.  Sometimes,  God will remind us not to become so dependent on our emotions, but to choose to make intelligible decisions. Because sometimes our emotion is the thing that keeps us in bondage to sin. Often times,  feeling good and feeling bad is the only thing that will motivate us to change for the good or bad.  When we rely too much on the ebb and flow of our emotions we get in trouble. Sometimes our desire to cry can be an attempt to manipulate God and convince Him with our tears and down countenance to change our circumstances. But God is not like man.  We can convince man with the flow of our tears.  But God discerns our hearts. Basically, God is saying He doesn’t want us to emotionalize this encounter with Him.  He wants us to be very much intellectually and spiritually aware of what’s going on and what we need to do. There’s a time and a place for everything.  And right now is not time for us  to be all up in our feelings. Right now,  He wants us to think & do.God knows the difference between our tears of surrender and our tears of manipulation. Do you have a broken and contrite heart or are you just broke down?

#MovedByYourRepentanceNotYourTears

#GodlySorrow

*tj

For many, an inability to accept the will of God is directly connected to a lack of knowledge of the will of God and the promises of God revealed in His Word. It’s a lot easier accepting the will of someone when you understand their intentions and their plans. You may have even said, “I just wish I knew why.” A lot of us will consume ourselves with wanting God to reveal our course of the race we’re in. But it’s not the course God reveals to us; it’s the finish line. As a matter of fact, the course is TBA (to be announced) for a reason. The course of our lives can change at any given moment without our permission. When you already know the course of your race, there’s no need to trust the plan. Therefore, you wouldn’t need faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things NOT seen. Without faith, it is impossible to please God. Some of us have had some hard realities that we’ve struggled with accepting in our lives. The course that we’ve been on seems unfair at every turn. But the promise reminds us that the race is not given to the swift, but to those who endure to the end. We pray, “If it be Your will.” But He reveals His will, (not our course) to us for our lives in His Word.
Why is this important? If we’re not careful, we will find ourselves holding God to promises that He never made. And when He doesn’t orchestrate our course (not His plan) the way we desire, pursue and/or pray for, we feel like God didn’t keep His word. We resent Him. We treat Him as if He lied to us. But God can’t lie. God wants us to have a ‘beyond the grave’ kind of faith. But for many,our faith only extends as far as our earthly efforts and desires. This means that if your desires aren’t  fulfilled and seem to die from defeat, so does your faith in God. Let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus. Jesus said, “Nevertheless, not My will be done, But Thy will be done.”
Lord help us to accept Your will and trust Your plan even if we don’t like the course.

*tj

One of the things that has been imperative in my ability to heal from hurt, get over disappointment & forgive was realizing & accepting the “me in my own mess”. Very often, particularly, in failed relationships/marriages, it’s very easy to blame the ‘apparent’ wrong of the other person for the desolation of the relationship. And as victims of disappointment, infidelity, betrayal & lies, the hurt has a tendency to blind us to the sin that dwells in us as victims of such (not the sin of the other person). Pre-relationship, we fail to grow in wisdom and understanding of God’s will for our life; which is where the protective custody of God dwells. Following His lead, denying self & developing an appetite that seeks to glorify Him saves us from a lot of relationship drama. Hindsight: Many of us have to admit that we weren’t wise or (spiritually) mature enough to enter into a relationship is the 1st place. Post-relationship, we think that the legitimate pain we experienced as a direct result of a violation of the relationship entitles us to react in our feelings & exonerates us from the expectations of God. How so? We refuse to forgive. We conduct ourselves with a spirit of justified retaliation. We resist the ability that the Holy Spirit gives us to operate outside of the inclinations of our flesh & walk in the Spirit. In other words, we refuse, resist & reject the reconciliation power the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes, we have it so backwards. We think that a heart of stone, hardness, stubbornness & a refusal to “take that” is what guards us from future hurt. Not so. A submission to the work of the Holy Spirit is what protects. You can put up every wall you have in order to protect your heart. But it’s the removal of the ceiling that protects us; that thing that stands between you and a transparent, honest, submitting, humble & broken relationship with God. When you remove the ceiling, God will lead you in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. And in submitting to His guidance for your life, He will guide you to the places where it’s safe to let the walls down. But we have to first learn that we need to get out of our own way. It takes wisdom. It takes self-denial. It takes personal ownership & accountability. Way too many of us seek to do our own thing expecting & praying to God to bless it; never really considering His ultimate will & purpose for our lives. But we need to learn to desire & seek after those things that God has already blessed & know that He will give us the desires of our hearts according to His will & purpose. The truth of the matter is that God saved us to be about His business, not our own.

***If your ceiling isn’t removed, it doesn’t matter how many walls you put up or take down.***

*tj

Love this picture! One thing that I’ve come to understand about rearing my children in the Lord, is that I can’t make them worship God.  But my job is to position them to worship God. I’ve striven to be mindful of the distractions that I ALLOW them to have that interfere with the seed of God’s word being planted in their impressionable spirits. In addition, I’m also mindful of my own distractions and the example that I set for them as a woman of God. Am I an engaged worshipper of God? Am I a consistent worshipper of God? Am I a worshipper of integrity? Is the God I proclaim on Sundays demonstrated in my life on Mondays thru Saturdays? Is the God that’s apparent in my public life, the same God that’s apparent in my private life? How does the inconsistencies or consistencies of my walk with the Lord affect how my children develop respect, admiration, obedience & awe for God? Have I shown them that God isn’t a priority by the way I live, all the while telling them that He’s priority by the way I talk? Am I a hypocrite? Have I taken seriously this ministry of stewardship called parenting? Do I understand the consequences for failing to do so? I know that the greatest gift that I can ever give to my children is a personal commitment to God, myself. I know that, in my best efforts as a parent, God is able to give my children what I can not.

*tj

Heb 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. 

Sometimes, when life happens, we will find ourselves bruised with burden. In our desperation, we will approach God asking Him to intervene.  We cry out, “Lord help!” We recognize God is the only one than can do anything about what we’re experiencing. And we have honest expectations that God will give us what we ask. As a matter of fact, he tells us in His word, that if you pray to Him have faith that He’s able. But I want to pose this question for thought:

Are we seeking God or seeking His blessings?

This verse says that God rewards those that diligently seek Him, not seek His blessings. Sometimes, we attempt to connect to God so we can qualify for His blessings. Outside of His blessings, we don’t really have a desire to know God. We treat Him like He’s a sugar daddy. Give Him a lil bit so that He can give us a lot. Is He more than blessings? Is He more than what He does for  you? Do you seek Him only because of what He can do for you or do you seek Him because of Who He is? Diligently seek Him.

*tj

Many of us would have never known we were sick had we never experienced any pain or discomfort.  Had we never experienced that pain, we would have never sought the expert knowledge of a physician. Had we not sought that physician for a diagnosis and prescription  for healing, we’d still be sick, if not dead.

Well, often times, life will offer us up a few pains and discomforts. Many of which, are  direct results of our own doing. Like physical pains, they are there to reveal to us our sin sick conditions. They are also there to remind us of our need for the Great Physician. Had we not experienced the pain, we would have, most likely, not sought relief & healing. The pain was necessary. The pain was merciful. The pain was a guide to the Physician. The only doctor that can heal your sin infected soul is Jesus. If you choose not to take His prescription of confession & repentance, you forfeit your healing. Satan has many of us fooled into thinking that just because the pain is gone, the disease is gone. We think that being rescued from the situation, means deliverance.  But you can be free from situations that have caused you pain, but still be a slave to the sin that dwells in you, that put you there in the first place. Some of us are seeking to be rescued from situations.  But we need to, 1st, be delivered from ourselves. Some of us are content with taking spiritual Tylenol for pain, when we really need a spiritual transplant.

*tj