There was an early chapter in my life when I had to except that my 1st marriage wasn’t going to last and I would be raising my child on my own. And in all honesty, I was more grieved for my child than I was for myself. I knew that I was broken, and had been since I was a teenager. I knew that I didn’t have in me to give her what I didn’t have–self-love, confidence and hope for my future. I wanted more for my child than I had in and for myself. And I’m not talking about stuff and materialism. I’m talking about what would be in her heart that would carry her through life. I wanted my child to make better decisions for her own life out of a healthy heart. At that point, I knew I couldn’t teach her how to do that.
When I was pregnant with her, I started my journey pursuing a relationship with God. I was consistent in attending church for the first time in my life. And for the first time, the preached Word was registering with me and ministering to my heart. Until then, the “preached Word” would get lost in translation in all the whooping and theatrics of a Sunday morning church experience.
But this time, in this season, things were different for me. I went to church looking for God; looking for healing; looking for hope. I was broken and broke down. I gave my life to God and obeyed the gospel of Christ when I was 7 months pregnant. However, it would be two hard years before I truly committed my life and my living to God. This was the best decision I ever made in my life!! I still had my struggles, but….
To be continued…
*Tressa Jo
BeyondSeeLevel 