A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. – 1 Corinthians 11:7-12
One of the most relational and marital defeating mentalities is that we don’t need one another. We just want one another. The world teaches us not to need a man; not to need a woman. Just want one enough to be willing to commit to. But from Genesis, the Bible shows us the necessity of woman and man coming together to manifest design, purpose, calling and ministry. Discovering why you need someone in your life doesn’t make you needy or thirsty. It’s makes you understand your piece in a bigger puzzle fashioned for Divine purpose. This isn’t just limited to romantic relationships. It’s evident in every area of life why there’s a major need for the presence of both women and men to come together, to connect and to collaborate. In families. In churches. In schools. In government. In medicine. Etc.
And it’s really unfortunate because the world constantly tells you to make sure you don’t need a man or a woman in your life. But the Bible clearly shows us that we actually need one another. God created us this way. And instead of us developing relationships from a biblical perspective, understanding fully how God designed us to need one another in order to fulfill Divine purpose, we are constantly trying to figure out why we don’t need each other. And we’re constantly told to build ourselves up as much as possible so that we won’t actually need the person we commit to. Just want them. But you’re not supposed to need them. And in doing so, instead of us building relationships that understand and value the significance of the individual that God has placed in our lives, we build on a matrimonial arrangement that’s pleasure, play and plan driven. But we never truly embrace the reality that marriage also comes with pain, problems and purpose that we are assigned to steward toward healing. And we never embrace that fact that God has positioned this person in your life to help bring you to another level of God glorification.
It’s wonderful to discover why God places your spouse in your life. Understand, it’s not always about what they give you in every season. Sometimes, it’s about what they bring out of you. Sometimes it’s about what you bringing out of them. The good, bad and the ugly.
I once heard “Marriage isn’t purposed to make you happy. It’s purposed to make you holy.” I 💯 cosign. Marriage is a personal assignment to ministry. God calls us to minister to our spouses. And he calls our spouses to minister to us. In order to minister to your spouse, it requires you to learn your spouse’s needs, look beyond their faults to see their needs, deny yourself, get over yourself, sacrifice and serve. It even requires you not to abandon one another when you discover the true depths of one another’s issues and brokenness. One brother said “Don’t complian about what you’ve been assigned to heal.” I’m not implying that you have to take abuse. I’m simply saying that part of marriage is embracing one another’s ugly, not just their beauty. Know that your needs (and your spouse’s) can change from season to season.
When I consider my own heart issues and strengths, I realize why God assigned me to my husband. And why He assigned him to me. It’s a beautiful three-piece puzzle for Divine purpose. My husband, me and God. We are intentional about ministering to one another’s broken places and serving one another. We don’t get frustrated with one another because we aren’t perfect or where we need to be in every area of our lives. But we extend patience as we grow as individuals and as we grow as husband and wife. And we’re committed to helping one another get there.
As we commit to being who God has called us to be, we become more like Him in the process. This is why it makes us holy and not just happy. It’s not always easy. But it’s always worth it. Understanding that we are “not independent of one another” is key. God brought THIS woman together with THIS man for a reason. And if you can’t see the reason, pray that God reveals it to you. But just as diligent as you are in asking God to help you understand why y’all are together, ask Him to help you walk in your assignment in your spouse’s life. You’d be surprised how that can shift the direction of your entire marriage. For your growth and God’s glory. ❤️
I need you. 🎶 You need me. 🎶
*Tressa Jo
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