BeyondSeeLevel

I’VE BEEN THERE FOR EVERYBODY ELSE. WHAT ABOUT ME?!

Some of us are killing ourselves trying to figure out who loves us. Who loves us enough to make a big deal out of us when we’re hurting? We’ve served, saved and rescued everybody in our circle of love. We’ve given. We’ve sacrifice. We’ve had sleepless nights. We’ve poured out of ourselves and into others so much, that we’ve given everybody what they needed. But no one gave us what we needed. Our wells are dry. Our tires are flat. Our tanks are empty. And now we find ourselves looking for someone to show us some love. To make a big deal about us and what we need for a change. To run to our aide. To prove to us that we matter too. But guess what? No one is coming for that. No one is coming around to give to us. They’re still coming to get. To receive. To be helped. To be rescued. But it hurts too much to accept the fact that after all we’ve done for them, after all the love without expectations, that they don’t/can’t love us enough to reciprocate the magnitude of sacrifice we’ve made for them. Not even in our time of need. Not even in our sickness. Not even in our suffering. They don’t even have the capacity to see beyond our strengths to see our need.

So we have a decision to make. Do we keep struggling, stay sick, keep hurting in wait to see who cares? Who wants to help us? Who loves us the way we love them? Who will step up? Do we keep running the risk of dying trying to prove what isn’t our responsibility to prove? You’ve proven your love for them. You don’t have to prove their love for you too! I had to learn myself the hard way. You have to consider yourself, even if no one else does. Because you matter! You matter! You matter! They don’t have to see that. But you need to see it! And when you do, it’ll change how you place yourself in the lives of the ones you love. You’ll realize that your place is to help, not save. Assist, not carry. Advise, not do. Pray for them, not provide for them. Lead them to God, not become their god. You learn that you were never meant to be for them what only God is supposed to be for them. So, sometimes you realize that if you don’t get off the boat, everyone in it will sink. Everybody will sink because you’re too tired to paddle, and they never had to learn how to paddle. So please hear me…. You matter enough to say no. You matter enough to stop. You matter enough to leave. You matter enough to take time to heal. You matter enough to stop trying to give on the fumes of an empty tank. And as much as it hurts that they won’t come to your rescue during your time of need, you have to remember that God loves you and cares enough about you to make a big deal about you. His love for you is so deep that He died for you to prove His love for you. But you don’t have to die to prove your love for anyone. Take care of yourself!

*Tressa Jo

A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. – 1 Corinthians 11:7-12

One of the most relational and marital defeating mentalities is that we don’t need one another. We just want one another. The world teaches us not to need a man; not to need a woman. Just want one enough to be willing to commit to. But from Genesis, the Bible shows us the necessity of woman and man coming together to manifest design, purpose, calling and ministry. Discovering why you need someone in your life doesn’t make you needy or thirsty. It’s makes you understand your piece in a bigger puzzle fashioned for Divine purpose. This isn’t just limited to romantic relationships. It’s evident in every area of life why there’s a major need for the presence of both women and men to come together, to connect and to collaborate. In families. In churches. In schools. In government. In medicine. Etc.

And it’s really unfortunate because the world constantly tells you to make sure you don’t need a man or a woman in your life. But the Bible clearly shows us that we actually need one another. God created us this way. And instead of us developing relationships from a biblical perspective, understanding fully how God designed us to need one another in order to fulfill Divine purpose, we are constantly trying to figure out why we don’t need each other. And we’re constantly told to build ourselves up as much as possible so that we won’t actually need the person we commit to. Just want them. But you’re not supposed to need them. And in doing so, instead of us building relationships that understand and value the significance of the individual that God has placed in our lives, we build on a matrimonial arrangement that’s pleasure, play and plan driven. But we never truly embrace the reality that marriage also comes with pain, problems and purpose that we are assigned to steward toward healing. And we never embrace that fact that God has positioned this person in your life to help bring you to another level of God glorification.

It’s wonderful to discover why God places your spouse in your life. Understand, it’s not always about what they give you in every season. Sometimes, it’s about what they bring out of you. Sometimes it’s about what you bringing out of them. The good, bad and the ugly.

I once heard “Marriage isn’t purposed to make you happy. It’s purposed to make you holy.” I 💯 cosign. Marriage is a personal assignment to ministry. God calls us to minister to our spouses. And he calls our spouses to minister to us. In order to minister to your spouse, it requires you to learn your spouse’s needs, look beyond their faults to see their needs, deny yourself, get over yourself, sacrifice and serve. It even requires you not to abandon one another when you discover the true depths of one another’s issues and brokenness. One brother said “Don’t complian about what you’ve been assigned to heal.” I’m not implying that you have to take abuse. I’m simply saying that part of marriage is embracing one another’s ugly, not just their beauty. Know that your needs (and your spouse’s) can change from season to season.

When I consider my own heart issues and strengths, I realize why God assigned me to my husband. And why He assigned him to me. It’s a beautiful three-piece puzzle for Divine purpose. My husband, me and God. We are intentional about ministering to one another’s broken places and serving one another. We don’t get frustrated  with one another because we aren’t perfect or where we need to be in every area of our lives. But we extend patience as we grow as individuals and as we grow as husband and wife. And we’re committed to helping one another get there.

As we commit to being who God has called us to be, we become more like Him in the process. This is why it makes us holy and not just happy. It’s not always easy. But it’s always worth it. Understanding that we are “not independent of one another” is key. God brought THIS woman together with THIS man for a reason. And if you can’t see the reason, pray that God reveals it to you. But just as diligent as you are in asking God to help you understand why y’all are together, ask Him to help you walk in your assignment in your spouse’s life. You’d be surprised how that can shift the direction of your entire marriage. For your growth and God’s glory. ❤️

I need you. 🎶 You need me. 🎶

*Tressa Jo

Every now and then I find myself unintentionally disconnecting from everyone and everything around me. I don’t ignore who’s around me. I just don’t initiate much engagement with who’s around me. I enter into my “Quiet Place”. I’m not being antisocial. I’m being intersocial. Whenever I enter into my Quiet Place it’s me trying to hear God’s voice. It’s usually when I’m trying to hear the “why” to my “what”. I’m asking God for answers to questions; for guidance; for wisdom; for understanding; for help. I’m desperate to hear Him so I get very quiet and still in my spirit so I don’t miss when He speaks.

From the outside looking in, my Quiet Place may make me seem to be troubled at times. I’m not my usual self (whatever that is). But nothing’s wrong. I’m just searching. I’m in a constant, ongoing interaction with God in my spirit. It’s slow and intentional. And even mystical at times because all I have to offer is question after question. And He speaks. But He doesn’t speak loud. He whispers to me. And at first, I can’t hear Him. But I know He’s speaking to me. Even His whispers are intentional. He whispers and if I want to hear Him, I have to get closer to Him. I have to engulf myself in all things spiritual. I read spiritual. I sing spiritual. I talk spiritual. All of my input is spiritual.

I can’t imagine how many times I’ve missed out on hearing God’s voice because I wouldn’t be quiet long enough to hear Him. Or I wouldn’t tune out what was going on around me long enough to hear God’s voice. Too many distractions. Too many noises. How many times have I prayed but didn’t listen to what God had to say? Because God always has a response whether we like it or not.

Often times, Jesus would go off by Himself to pray. He would go to His Quiet Place. Away from the hustle and bustle. Away from all the surrounding noises. Away from any distractions. Away from everybody. All to speak to the Father, to hear His voice and to feel His presence.

It’s a beautiful thing when God invites you into a Quiet Place. Quiet Places are where we have encounters with God. And those encounters always leave you different and changed. Because you can’t come into the presence of God and leave unchanged.

A Quiet Place is so much more than an experience with the Lord. As Christians, we have religious experiences all the time. But encounters with Jesus happen in Quiet Places. My Quiet Place is me looking for an encounter with God.

*Tressa Jo