BeyondSeeLevel

I’ve learned that many people just want to feel better when they come into the presence of God. They don’t necessarily want to be filled better. They open up and cry their eyes out, thinking that their tears will provoke God to intervene and change their circumstances. God IS concerned about what concerns you. But it’s not your tears He’s looking for. It’s your faith. What if God decides not to change those circumstances you keep crying to Him about? What if you remain single? What if you stay sick? What if he/she won’t change? What if you keep struggling? What if they leave? What if??? Even if God chooses not to change your circumstances, trust that He can change you. When will you understand that God is not primarily concerned about fixing the things in your life? He wants to fix you. You can’t keep surrendering your stuff to God, without surrendering your heart and expect Him to act like your Shuga Daddy. He wants to be your Heavenly Father. But that’s up to you. God desires you. Do you desire Him or just what He can do for you? If you want a God-product, you have to be willing to submit to a God-process. God’s process is ALWAYS purposed to draw you closer to Him. And as you draw closer to Him, you become more like Him and you learn what really matters. And when you learn what matters, it may even change what you cry and pray about.

*Tressa Jo

Today is a hard day. I’m sitting at my pc trying to work and I can’t seem to stop crying. My timeline has been flooded with pictures of Botham Jean. But today I see live videos of his lifeless body lying in a casket. I see several familiar faces that are there to say their own goodbyes, to show support to his family and friends and to stand for a cause.

I’m reflecting on how I’ve been managing in my own spirit dealing with all of the social injustices around us. And I’m looking at how others are dealing. And I have to admit, that sometimes it’s just too much to deal with. Some are on the front lines representing us as a whole seeking change. Others have a less aggressive approach. Then, there are some that have chosen to retreat all-together because they just can’t handle it. Whatever the case may be, I’m realizing that people are struggling. I was talking to a friend the other day about everything that’s going on. I revisited the time when it was Travon Martin. I remember being so heavy in my heart. I made my best attempt to encourage others with what God had poured into my spirit to comfort me as I laid at His feet in grief. But I remember feeling like I was holding my breath waiting for one of my brothers in Christ to speak a Word to the people—particularly, the ministers. But the majority of them were expressing their own hurts, frustrations, anger, fears and hopelessness. It was too much in that moment even for the strong to handle. But then, one would speak. And his words were life giving to a broken people looking for hope. But I’m sure, even he had his moments at the feet of Jesus full of despair, looking for a Word for himself first and then for the people that were waiting on him to do or say something.

And again, just this week, the voices spoke. And again, they spoke of their own hurts, frustrations, anger, fears and hopelessness about the problems of this dying world. And again, I find myself broken at the feet of Jesus seeking comfort for my soul. But in spite of me knowing that my brothers are struggling too, I’m still waiting to hear from them. Like a wife looks to her husband or like children look to their parents to give them hope and to speak peace. What am I looking for? I’m not looking for a solution to the problem. I’m not looking for a plan of action. I’m not looking for a herald to gather the people together. I’m not looking for a call for unity. I’m not even looking to feel better in this moment. I’m not looking for a superman or a superhero. I’m not looking for a preacher turned politician. I’m not looking for a Christian civil rights activist. I’m not looking for a legal expert. I’m not looking to foster relationships with the local police or government officials.

I’m looking for someone to show me how to simply hold on in spite of things not getting better. I mean…..we’ve been in this fight a loooooong time. I’m looking for someone to show me how to deal with this tug-o-war between what I’m experiencing in the flesh and what I know in the Spirit. What I see scares me and leaves me feeling helpless and hopeless at times. I’m looking for someone to show me how to fight in the Spirit and not in the flesh when that’s what I really want to do because I feel like it would actually make a difference. You know? Fight fire with fire. I’m looking for someone to show me how to use my spiritual armor to fight; and not use my fist. I’m looking for someone to show me how to struggle but be sustained in the Spirit. Because it’s a strong possibility that God may not choose to snatch us out of this chaos (until we die). But He can sustain us while we’re here. I’m looking for someone that can show me what it is that I need to have hope in beyond this world and these experiences. The world is doing exactly what its nature demands—deny God. I’m looking for someone to remind me that this little light of mine won’t always illuminate a room. But it can expose the darkness. I’m seriously looking for someone to show me how to pass through this wicked world and stay saved because I’m not here to stay. 

*Tressa Jo

I wasn’t feeling very well. I tried to yell into the next room to ask for help. But my help didn’t come. I yelled again and again. No one came. Everytime I yelled, I felt weaker and weaker. So I decided to get up and move closer to my help so she could hear me. All I had to do for her to hear me was go to the door. I didn’t even have to go all the way. It took less strength to get up and get closer to my help than it took for me to keep yelling for her to come. I thought to to myself, perhaps this is a message for the people of God. God may be telling us that we’re wasting our time and energy yelling for Him to come to us. We’re misusing our strength. God may be telling us that we need to use our strength to get closer to Him. And after we get closer to Him, He’ll get closer to us. Draw nigh unto Him and He will draw nigh unto you. God is reminding us that He desires relationship with us; not arrangements to take care of our business.

*Tressa Jo