Relationships are contaminated because people are contaminated. I don’t think it necessarily started with this generation either. But I do think it’s been severely “contaminated” and influenced by a shift from biblical standards for (marital) relationships over several generations. Whenever people do come together, the foundations are so shaky and insecure, they seldom last. More specifically, for people of God, we have allowed the world’s systems to shape our views and relationship goals, more than God’s purpose and plan for woman/man relationships. There’s been a major conforming to this world’s systems. (Romans 12:2) And it started with us first allowing the world to shape our views, goals standards and expectations for the womanhood and manhood. We’ve deviated from the biblical design of masculinity and femininity so much that we’ve lost touch with our purpose. And because we’re so disconnected from our God-design, it makes sense to me, that we’re not able to produce God-relational products–the kind that last and glorify Him. I also think that we are so pleasure-driven, carnal minded and shallow, we can’t even identify qualities that would even make for lasting relationships anymore. We’re too busy trying to be a “Power Couple” but don’t even have “Self Power”. And we sure don’t have any Holy Ghost power. Individually, we may be secularly successful, have status and money. But we also have so many character deficiencies. And instead of us working on those, we search high and low for someone that will accept our crap, enable us in it and won’t challenge us to do and be better. And whenever someone has expectations of us to change, grow or do better, (or at least measure up to God’s expectations of you) we X them out as just not being for us, thinking they’re too good or say they’re judging us. In other words, we don’t want to be in relationships of accountibility that mandate growth. But we seek out relationships that enable our dysfunctions and weaken our character.
Many want to blame the area of technology and social media. But we can’t blame it on social media. Social media is just a display. But it’s not the disease.
I think that dialogues about woman-man relationships are often consumed ( and further contaminated) with “how” we come together (talk, text, FaceTime, hookup, meet at church, at a party, etc.). Which will only touch the cosmetics of the relationship. Then we talk about “when” we come together. Talked for 3 months, dated for a year, engaged after…etc. Which addresses our controls. But we need to zero in on the “why” we come together. This is the only way we will connect to the Purpose of our relationships–Our purpose and God’s. This is when we have to face the reality of our own agenda vs God’s design. We’ll be fixed on trying to figure out who the next one will be. But won’t give time to dissect our “Why”. If we did that, we’d realize that we’re motivated by things that should only stimulate us, and stimulated by the things that should actually be motivating us.
Now, we have to consider what’s motivating us as we pursue relationships–even in our marriages. Are our intentions contaminated? Is glorifying God the goal? Do we really expect to keep desiring and developing relationships outside of God’s will, design and plan, and get a God product at the end?
*Tressa Jo
BeyondSeeLevel 