Recently, I attended the funeral of a friend. The preacher that facilitated the funeral beckoned the audience to give the widower a standing ovation for keeping his vow. He recognized the husband for staying with his wife through good and bad times and through sickness and in health. But what warranted the standing ovation was that he was there “till death did them part”. It was a moment of celebration and of sadness. We stood to our feet to celebrate his commitment and care for his wife during her season of sickness. It was very obvious for any that had a front row seat to this couple that he cared for her; particularly, when she wasn’t able to care for herself. After seasons of fighting in hope, they both had to come to grips and accept the inevitable. As the preacher shouted, the audience cheered. Till death did they part! Till death did they part!
A few days later, I attended a ladies day church event to support my mentor and fellowship with some sisters in Christ. At this event, there was a panel of ladies that spoke on the different stages of walking in faith. One sister, in particular, said something that really got my attention. She talked about how she held on to her faith when her husband suddenly and unexpectedly died from a massive heart attack. He was only 50 years old. That’s not old at all. Can you imagine the degree of hurt she experienced trying to embrace the reality that her husband was gone? She talked about some of her thoughts early in her grief. She would think in her spirit, “I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you!” In her grief, she’d utter words to her husband as if he was right there in her presence. She just wanted to feel his presence so badly—even if she could only feel it in her spirit.
I’m not sure how long she toiled in the depths of her grief. There are many adjustments and changes a person has to make when their spouse dies. She no longer had him there to talk to or to touch. She was now sleeping alone every night. There were no more good mornings or good nights to exchange. That just touches the surface. The realities that she had to come to accept are the same realities my friend’s husband will eventually have to accept over the course of time.
That one statement that stood out most to me as the sister on the panel spoke was this: As she rehearsed her hurt and consumed herself with thoughts she’d spend the rest of her life with her husband, God whispered peace into her spirit. God simply showed her that her husband thought the same exact thing. And he did exactly that! He spent the rest of his life with her! He fulfilled his vows till death did them part. Did that eliminate her pain? Absolutely not! But it gave her a fresh perspective of the covenant vows they both took when they said “I do”. She realized that her vows were to be fulfilled in life and in death. She recognized that although they didn’t plan it this way, God already knew her husband’s death date, just as He knew his birth date. God knew!
During this day and age, many marriages end over trivial things. Most of which, never include the death of a spouse. Becoming a widow is a God designed covenant fulfillment worthy of celebrating; worthy of a standing ovation. Two different couples– Two different life journeys together–Two husbands worthy of celebrating. One we celebrate in life. The other, we celebrate in death. Till death did they part.
*Tressa Jo
BeyondSeeLevel 