BeyondSeeLevel

Are you struggling to forgive someone? One of the major reasons we struggle with forgiveness, is the fact that we give people ‘Source status’ in our lives, when they should only have ‘Resource status’. It’s misplaced, misapplied & self-defeating when we put trust and confidence in people to a degree that exonerates them from the faultiness & failures of humanness. We ALL fall short and are subject to let people down; rather unintentionally, haphazardly or intentionally. When we hold people to Source standards, we place on them unattainable standards, simply because they’re human. People are resources. They serve as conduits of the unfailing nature of God; the completeness of God; the perfection of God. But they are not God! They are not to be substituted for the unfailing nature of God. God is the only Source that will never fail—because He can’t fail. People will let you down. People will always need forgiveness. YOU will let people down. YOU will always need forgiveness. One of the most needed (and perhaps, unappreciated) attributes of God is the fact that He forgives us even with the reality that we don’t deserve forgiveness; not even when we repent, do we deserve it. He forgives us because we are weak; not because we are strong. He forgives us although we are unworthy, simply because He loves us. He’s an ‘In spite of’ kind of God desiring children with “In spite of’ kind of hearts. He wants his children to have hearts like Him. In spite of your unworthiness, I forgive you–One, because in spite of my unworthiness, God forgave me. And two, I love you.

Here are 10 honest questions we have to ask ourselves that will empower you to forgive others.

1. What kind of standards have I placed on others—Source or Resource?
2. Do I struggle to forgive because I struggle to love?
3. What’s my unspoken desires when faced with forgiving someone, retribution or restoration? Judgment or Mercy?
4. Do I really have the heart of God? Am I able to see beyond other’s faults and see their needs?
5. Am I trying to forgive in my flesh, instead of in my spirit? In my flesh, I require perfection. In my spirit, I extend grace in spite of imperfections.
6. Am I not able to see the demon in myself because I’m consumed with the demon of my offender?
7. Has my own pride brought me into the bondage of entitlement? Am I fueling this bondage with feelings of perpetual disappoint & hurt? (It happened! It’s not happening!)
8. Am I willing to admit that God has an expectation of how I respond to those that hurt me? I still have to operate in my Spirit-man and resist the natural inclinations of my flesh-man.
9. Do I understand that forgiveness requires me to consider my offender and deny myself? It’s really not about you. (God doesn’t forgive you to feel better within Himself. He forgives you for YOU; to position you to be restored and reconciled back unto Him. It’s not about what you FEEL. It’s about what/Who FILLS you.
10. Am I willing to repent of my own sin for not operating in the Spirit of God, denying myself, having a prideful spirit & not loving the way God loves?

I often say, “You can’t fix a spiritual problem with a physical sacrifice.” This basically means that we can’t rely on things in the flesh when we are called to duty in the Spirit. The ability to forgive is accomplished in the Spirit. We tie our spiritual hands when we expect or require things on the outside to be the source of our power on the inside. This isn’t an issue of getting over your hurts & being able to move on so that you can have a better life. Forgiving others, definitely positions us to be forgiven by God. But the pinnacle of forgiveness is looking more like our Father in heaven; baring His fruit. Therefore, there’s nothing wrong with extending forgiveness in order to get forgiveness. But as children of God, our desire to forgive should be motivated by our desire to look like our Daddy when we look into our spiritual mirrors. This is the maturing of going from being “ME-minded” to being “MASTER-minded”.

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.–Philippians 2:5

*Tressa Jo

So I just turned 40 years old. I’ve never been known to make a big to-do about my birthday. I don’t really celebrate me. Not quite sure why I don’t.  But I have a few thoughts. And since I don’t make a big deal about it, I’m always overwhelmed when others do. I definitely love & appreciate all the  well wishes and love. But there are certain words that touch me in a very deep way.  People take this day,  of all days,  to express to me how they really feel about our relationship and about me as a person.  I’m very intentional in my relationships. I want people to feel better & be better after an encounter with me.  Above all things, I’m most moved by those words that express the God impression I’ve left on them.  I often say,  “I don’t want to or try to be impressive.  I just want to be effective.” And I really do mean this.

I sit and wonder sometimes why in the world does God choose to use my pathetic self as a vessel for His glory?  Why would He bother Himself positioning someone as inconsistent as I am at times, to do anything great?  Why would He put people in my path that I’m able to connect with beyond myself and in spite of myself?
Most of the time,  birthdays cause you to reflect and remember.  You remember where you’ve come from.  You remember who you used to be.  You remember the tears you’ve shed.  You remember the loved ones you’ve lost.  And sometimes in your remembering,  you cry tears of grief.  Other times,  you celebrate overcoming hardships. Then at times,  you sit in silence anticipating what’s next.

As I listen to & read the warm sentiments that are purposed to celebrate me,  I started to connect my  “back then” with my “right now”. And then it made sense to me.  It was for my growth & for God’s glory.

I can’t celebrate myself without celebrating God.  I know who I used to be.  I know what I used to do.  I know who I’d still be if I didn’t have God leading me. I know what I’d still be doing had I not surrendered my life to God. And because I know me,  I can’t boast on who I am or how people see me.  Yes.  I’m intentional in my walk with God.  But I know it’s Him that works in me to will and do of His good pleasure.  In and of myself,  I can’t do it.

I don’t downplay what God is doing thru me. It took me a while to recognize that He chose me.  He chose this woman that should have died on two different occasions, as a teen after two suicide attempts. He chose this woman that married young and divorced young.  He chose this woman that would be a single mother of two children.  He chose this woman that would be widowed after a second marriage. He chose this woman that survived domestic violence & sexual abuse.  He chose this woman that would struggle financially.  He chose this woman that didn’t have a college degree. He chose this woman that occasionally, still struggles with loving herself. He chose this woman that still wonders, at times, if she’s good enough to serve the people of God effectively. He chose this woman to minster from the places of her brokenness; her weaknesses.  He chose this woman to speak words that were articulated by her, but came directly from Him. He chose this woman to minister to people with what she needed, not what she had. He chose this woman that’s now ok with her “in spite of” calling & with her “in spite of” ministry.

In spite of me, God uses me.  I’ll never be perfect.  But I’m purposed.  I’ll never be sinless. But I’ll continue to strive to sin less. So my overwhelming birthday sentiment is this:

My mess caused me misery.  But I took that misery to the Master.  Then the Master had mercy on me.  After He had mercy on me,  He gave me a ministry.  Now I’m on a mission.

The beautiful thing is the fact that we all have an “in spite of” calling and ministry.

*Tressa Jo